DISFUNCTION AT IT'S BEST

SARAH'S GETTING MARRIED

2007-10-14T05:17:00.000-07:00

Well, daughter number 2 is getting married in three days. In Vegas. And we're all going. How exciting huh?
For whatever reason, I'm not nearly as sad about Sarah getting married as I was Toni. (who got married last month). Sarah is so totally opposite of Toni. I suppose that's why.
Sarah is extremely independent. She's a kind of "take charge" person. I never ever worry about her. As a matter of fact, there are times I go to her when I'm feeling a little "fragile". She's strong. I like that about her. She's responsible. She's also very very kind. She has this soft spot that not many people know about. She's sensitive and gets her feelings hurt easily. She's my baby!! I love her deeply!
So, she's getting married in Vegas and I'm going to babysit their little girl, Natalie. (I can now say "Sarah's husband" instead of "Sarah's baby's daddy") THANK YOU JESUS!!!!
I don't know how I'm going to like Vegas...vacation to me is sitting in the woods with no one around me. I AM going to the Grand Canyon though. That should be awesome.
I know whatever we do, I'll have a good time. I'll be with my family...

SAFE HAVEN

2007-10-01T18:36:00.000-07:00

THE POND
Mark, myself and Helen, Mark's recently widowed mother, went to the country this weekend. Actually, it's not "really" the country but....sort of. Again, don't try to figure out some of the statements I make because, well, they make no sense. This is one of those statements.(Part of my disfunction)Hence...the title. Disfunction at it's Best.
Okay...the country. You almost have to have a 4 wheel drive to get there...It's a path thru the woods.It is actually a garage you are staying in.

This is the garage..looks small but actually is about 1,200 square feet
There is no running water. We haul water in so you're pretty limited on how much you can use. Since there is no water, that means??? That's right..no flushing toilet but..I have a picture of the toilet that we do have there. This thing honestly cost Mark $1,200.00. Therefore, I must put a picture up of it.

"THE" TOILET (should be trimmed in gold for that price)

The pond ...well, Mark dug it himself. It took him 3 years.
We go there and spend the weekends..IT'S WONDERFUL!! Surrounded by trees and nothing else. Believe me, it's first and foremost a garage but it is so nice to sleep at night with the garage doors wide open, listening to the frogs. We cook in the microwave, toaster oven, crock pot and open fire.

Speaking of open fire, this is Helen, what one would call my mother-in-law, if I were married to Mark, watching the bonfire, snuggling under a blanket.

(There really is "some" order to this.. believe it or not. Though it did need cleaning at that time!! HA HA HA )
We have a little fridge...and there is even a shower! There's a hot water heater so we do have warm water. So despite how primitive it is, is is equally rich. I love it there. It is my "safe haven"

Corrina Habernathy

2007-09-28T21:14:00.000-07:00

MY BUDDY DOLL

Okay.... As you all may have figured out, I work with Corie. One day, out of the blue, I somehow came up with this name for her. CORRINA HABERNATHY
And it stuck. Now, I can barely remember my own name, which by the way, I blame on menopause, but I can remember CORRINA HABERNATHY. I don't know anyone by that name....I have never heard that name before.....I don't know where it came from!!
I tend to give people I'm fond of "pet" names. I think I've done this my whole life and have no clue why. They aren't pet names like "honey" or "sugar" or "dear". They're just a different name than their own. Such as, I work with Earle....I call him Karl. I like Earle so I call him Karl. ???????? Don't try to figure it out...
Well, Corrina Habernathy is the same age as my son. I'm old, she's young. She's a christian, I'm sorta not. I'm cynical, she's not. She eats right, I don't.
I gossip, she doesn't. I cuss (alot), she never does.She has self confidence, I do not..(I think thats why I cuss!) We are like day and night!! Seriously!! But...we were kind of thrown together at work. We started at the health department on the same day.....people there were not very friendly when we first started. No one talked to each other and certainly didn't talk to us, the two new people. Soooo we talked to each other. But we were VERY different. We both wanted to do well at our jobs though. That was what we had in common. And we still have that in common.
I'm getting up tomorrow morning and meeting Corrina Habernathy at 8am at the YMCA. Know why???? Because she is going to show me how to use the treadmills there. I know...Hard to believe I don't know how but it's true. And I would feel stupid trying to learn how to use them by myself. (Remember, she has self confidence, I do not)
This person who is sooo different from me is taking time to help me...Actually, Corie is THE reason I even started going to the Y....... and she encourages me to continue to go. She is very very kind and I want EVERYONE to know that.
As different as we are, she is my friend! I learn so much from her on a daily basis. I admire and respect her and THAT'S why she is Corrina Habernathy!

I LIED..ANOTHER YMCA POST

2007-09-28T06:27:00.000-07:00

Okay...I stepped it up a notch.....I tried out the deep water aquacise class at the Y last night. It was BRUTAL! BRUTAL I tell you! This class is really just a game of (like) soccer, men against women...trying to get a ball in the opponents net. You play in water over your head. I wore a belt to help keep me up as did about a third of the class but I gotta tell you. There were some folks in their (probably) 70's who didn't use a belt and how they do that is amazing to me!! There are no rules to this game...you can do whatever you need to do to get the ball..jump on, dunk, push, pull hair...whatever.I LOVED IT!! THAT'S my kind of game. I was poked in the eye...that hurt!! I was pushed HARD which did in fact put me under the water so I guess you could say I was "dunked"....and my left arm has about a 3 inch long scrape...from what I don't know.
Now my dilema is.....I wanna change from my old aquacise class into this new one BUT.......my ex mother-in-law, Sonja and my ex husbands wife Vicki (if you don't know THAT weird story, read this)signed up to be in the "old" aquacise class... Oh what to do, what to do.........

DO YOU HAVE TOASTER CRUMBS ON YOUR COUNTER TOO?

2007-09-24T16:05:00.000-07:00

I walked into the house after work and almost had a breakdown. Mind you, I cleaned the house yesterday. Sweeped, mopped, dishes laundry, etc. But that wasn't every room in the house either. There are 10 rooms here, including 2 bathrooms.
I WANT TO KNOW.....do all of you have a spotless house? Do you do this stuff everyday? I guess I just want to quit feeling inferior. I CAN'T DO IT!! I can get some rooms done but not all. I find I have laundry everyday, no matter what. Dishes everyday, no matter what. Crumbs ALWAYS needding to be cleaned off the counters. Floors always needing to be swept. On and on and on and on. Today it's really bugging me...I just wanna know.....Do real people get it done EVERYDAY? And if not, what is it you leave undone usually?
Corie dear....you seem so organized but I was never so happy to hear you had dust bunnies and i mean that in such a good way cause you seem to do things so perfectly!
And to all that respond to my posts....I have yet to REALLY learn how to respond so please don't think I'm ignoring you. Hell, I'm probably busy cleaning up crumbs under the toaster that I never use (instead of responding to everyone) . How do you suppose they get under there when it's not in use?????????????????????????????

CITY LIVING......not for me!!

2007-09-22T06:09:00.000-07:00

Okay, I grew up in the city. St. Louis city as a matter of fact. Maybe that's why I'm not a big fan of city living.
I remember when you had GREAT neighborhoods, you knew all of your neighbors and we watched out for one another, kids played outside from the time they got up in the morning until it was time to come home for dinner. It was awesome!
I came home from work yesterday and found one of my favorite potted plants, a very odd cactus, had been stolen from my front porch. The people that know me, know I absolutely love plants. I have one plant thats 29 years old. Anyway, someone felt that it okay to walk up on my porch and steal the plant!! It wasn't small either and kind of heavy. I had just replanted it in a large clay pot. Which by the way, was part of a set of matching clay pots! HMMMM!!!
I immediately ran to the back yard to check on my other plants. I have a huge rubber tree that was from my fathers funeral in 1990. It was still there. I suppose they would have to have a trailor to load that on.......way too big to carry.It just makes me really sad that you can't decorate your house or let a plant out to get some sun without the threat of theft.
Then, at about 8:30 last night, our neighbor called and said Marks door to his jeep was wide open.(He parks in the back of the house) Well, I had been out there earlier and know the door was not open then. Mark went out there and someone had rummaged thru the jeep. AGAIN. Little did they know this happens so frequently, we don't even lock the door anymore. I just wish they would shut the door when they are done to keep all of the feral cats out of the car.
CITY LIVING? Not for me!!

My last YMCA story. GETTING NAKED!!

2007-09-20T12:46:00.000-07:00

Unless someone drowns, I will not be posting another YMCA blog. I promise.
So I go to the aquacise class last night with my ex mother-in-law, Sonja and my ex-husbands current wife, Vicki. Weird...I know. Now, understand, I don't hang out with Vicki...ever. As a matter of fact, I have never had a real conversation with her. Well, guess what? She got naked in front of me!! AGAIN....this is MY ex husbands current wife! I would have never ever in a million years gotten naked in front of this or any other woman who had been with my husband!!SHe is like...competition and we compare each other (in our heads) to see who is/was the best wife.(even though I don't want him, we still compare. We all do it! Admit it!) That includes our bodies. And believe me. I'm 49 and shes 52 or something. Neither one of us has alot to show off!! I just thought it strange that she felt comfortable getting naked in front of me.... Hell, I think this whole situation is strange!!

Geez...Another YMCA story

2007-09-18T17:51:00.000-07:00

Ok...There's so much I wanna blog about but I just think the stories would get so complicated! But here's one that I just have to tell. Again, it's about the Y.
Let me set up the story......
Last Saturday was my grandaughter, Natalie's first b-day party. Well, I'm divorced from "Ricky" , Natalies grandpa. Whenever my daughter Sarah (natalies mother) has any get-togethers, I'm surrounded by ex-inlaws AND the exhusband "RICKY" and Ricky's current wife "VICKIE" But it's okay. I love my ex mother-in-law "Sonja" and father-in-law "DICK". So here's a list of characters to help keep you straight. HA HA HA HA
Karen- me
Sarah- my daughter
Natalie-my grandaughter
Ricky- the evil ex husband
Sonja-ex mother-in-law
Dick-ex-father-in-law
Vickie-my ex husbands current wife

So we're at the party for my little grandaughter Nattie and I'm being oh so pleasant to all these ex's.... NO REALLY!! I WAS!! I started discussing joining the Y and Sonja says to me..."I'll bet that's alot of fun". Of course I have to tell her about the "not so normal class" and my friends Mary and Joyce. Sonja was literally in tears laughing and so I think, what the heck and I ask her to join the class. All of a sudden Vickie says, "I wanna go!" Now, do you remember who Vickie is?? My ex-husbands CURRENT WIFE. I am seriously at a loss for words at this moment. What does one say at a time like that? Something like "sure...I'd love to drown you...I mean have you? I thought it a little weird that I was gonna go with my ex mother-in-law but as I said earlier, I really love her alot. I know others would find that strange that we'd "hang out" but what do I care? But now to go with Ricky's Vickie? That was beyond weird!! But I thought she was just shooting the bull and really wouldn't go. GUESS WHAT? She called me tonight....SHE'S GOING. Tomorrow. Thank God it's the "not so normal" class but the "fairly normal" instructor lady is the same instructor every night.
To add to this, when I went to the "normal" class on Monday and "fairly normal" Dorothy and "fairly normal" instructor lady was there, a discussion started in the pool about women who have 3 plus marriages and their inability to ever be satisfied and always looking for excitement. (Needless to say, I looked away and started whistling a quiet little tune.) Wait till they get wind of who we are. Ex-wife, current wife, current mother-in-law,ex mother-in-law.
After some thought,I believe the Wednesday class is best suited for me. And my ex mother-in-law and my ex-husbands wife.

Normal vs Not So Normal

2007-09-17T18:51:00.000-07:00

So tonite I returned to the YMCA for my second class of aquacise. Well, my friends Mary and Joyce didn't show up....I wonder what they had so pressing that would keep them away from their commitment to weekly exercise!! Hmmmm.... But anyway, I met a new woman named Dorothy. Seemed fairly normal. Then a mother and daughter came in a little late.....they too seemed fairly normal. Then it finally hit me. Mondays are for the "normal" people and Wednesdays are for the "not so normal" people. Why, Mary and Joyce didn't have anything pressing to do tonight. Their class isn't until Wednesday. And me? I'm just riding the fence as far as what day I should be there. I'm liable to fall off on either side and most likely you'll hear about my Wednesday nights at the YMCA.....................

Mrs. Toni Bierman

2007-09-16T09:08:00.000-07:00

As you can see, I'm not a photographer!! My daughter was married last night This is a picture of Toni, Jake, Julian and Lucy. The Bierman's.

YMCA

2007-09-15T05:27:00.000-07:00

As it states in my history,I'm 49 years old. And let's just say, I haven't exercised for about 30 of those years. Let's be totally frank and say I haven't exercised in about 30 PLUS of those years.
Well, I joined the YMCA!! (When I say that, it makes me wanna break into dance and start doing hand motions like the Village people) Thanks to my buddy Corie!!! (Who by the way, really is good for me...makes me do things I don't necessarily want to do but probably should)
This past week I started aquacise class. It's for "beginners" which was right up my alley because remember, nothing for 30 years.There were only 2 other women in the class, Mary and Joyce, who by the way ,have been taking this class for 2 years. Let me just say, I was by far the smallest of our group and well, THAT says alot. And I really am not trying to be mean.....Maybe I'm trying to be a little humorous at their expense....(which is mean I suppose) OKAY!! OKAY!!...at times I can be mean!
Anyway, it was a bit disheartening to think they've been taking this class for 2 years and that is the result???
Mary and Joyce didn't talk much. As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure Joyce could talk. The most I ever heard her do was respond to Mary with a grunt. At one point, I really was beginning to think I was in the class "Aquacise for the disabled". Joyce also had a hard time floating while holding on to a "NOODLE". Those things hold anyone up. Seriously! NOT JOYCE. I saw her fall off the noodle, go under water , come up coughing but keep in mind WE WERE IN SHALLOW WATER!! JOYCE WAS DROWNING IN 3 FEET OF WATER!! Now before you think I'm just being mean, when I left the Y at the end of the class, one of the employees called me to the side and said " Hey Karen, next week will be better.There will be some others in the class that you can relate to...more like you" I swear!! And I didn't say a word to this employee.
But the bottom line is, I enjoyed the class. I really feel like I did something good for myself. And I really do love the water. I even enjoyed Mary and Joyce. And although I use what I can for a joke alot of the times, I have a soft spot for people with any kind of disability. Like Mary and Joyce!!

Well, off to the Y I go for my beginners walking class...this ought to be a hoot too!!

DISFUNCTION AT IT'S BEST

2007-09-12T03:04:00.000-07:00

Well, It's 2 am and still not asleep. (even after a sleeping pill) And I have to get up at 5:30 for work. A very demanding job at that.
I have been having some lung problems lately and quit smoking 3 weeks ago. I've smoked for 35 years but I DID quit. Until tonight. I have asked Mark to not keep cigarettes in the house due to the fact I tend to wake up at night and want to smoke. I asked him to not "hide" them in the house simply because I know where all the hiding spots are. Well, I found them. I smoked them. I am disgusted with myself. I see 2 problems here. 1) They shouldn't have been in the house. 2) I ran out of patches and wanted to get more but Mark said I shouldn't rely on them.
Bottom line is I chose to smoke them and I know that but dammit...I'm addicted. THEY CAN"T BE IN HERE!! IF THEY WEREN"T IN HERE I WOULDN"T HAVE SMOKED THEM!! AND I shouldn't listen to what others say about relying on the patches. They work for me amd I should have just bought them tonight!
Another issue...My daughter tells me yesterday she is getting married this coming Saturday night...Thats right. Today is Wednesday. So I'm a little distraught over this. It's not a shotgun wedding in case anyone is curious about that but there are extenuating circumstances that I'll get into later. So that is keeping me awake I think.
My job is driving me crazy right now and I can't take off so I can't even help the daughter with the wedding....not that you can do much in a couple of days anyway.
I'm on some higher doses of Prednisone for the lung thing so more than half of my clothes don't fit...have nothing to wear to the wedding! Oh and did I mention broke so buying a new outfit for this is out of the question? HA HA HA .boy oh boy.. Yep...Doctor bills and medicine ate up a whole lot of my check.
I'm stressed!! REALLY REALLY STRESSED!
So I guess I'll finish this cigarette and try to go back to bed. I guess I'll stop at Walgreens on the way to work and pick up some nicotine patches. Should have listened to my own head.

My Buddy Corie

2007-09-09T07:07:00.000-07:00

Corie is my co-worker at the city health department and has been assigned as my "official buddy" by upper management. NO...THIS IS NOT A JOKE!! We are all assigned "buddies". Tax dollars at work my friends.
We celebrated Corie's birthday last week and I wanted to share with everyone these ice cream cone cupcakes I made. I thought it would be cute to bake these since Corie loves ice cream. I'm not a cook or baker as you can see from the pics. BUT.......they were made with lots of love for "MY BUDDY" Corie. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORIE! (even though it's a little late)

Kitchen Grout and Sheet Music

2007-09-01T03:10:00.000-07:00

This weekend was and is "clean up" time. I have been trying for 3 years to get our first floor cleaned up. Mark works with alot of tools and has them everywhere!! And I mean everywhere. He would never allow me to move them because "I need them for work". He finally relented and we are moving everything to the second floor in a "tool room" for him. My living room, which is huge, is empty and it looks wonderful!! FINALLY! After 3 years!!
So I have my big empty living room, with only 4 things on the wall. A picture of Marks parents and 3 framed pieces of old sheet music. Hence, the title of this blog.
I noticed a week ago that the kitchen floor looked kind of "dingy" so I started scrubbing the grout. Little did I know, the grout between the tiles isn't really brown but a nice light gray. I didn't finish the floor a week ago...that's alot of work!! I started to do a little more tonight and I have about a fourth of the floor finished. The rest will have to wait for another day but....while I was scrubbing the floor I had all these thoughts about my life.
I am truly grateful for the things I have. Today I was able to go to the grocery store and buy food. I went to Big Lots and bought a toy for my grandchildren to play with. I went out for lunch . I went to Wal-Mart and bought a couple of new shirts. I went out in the back yard this morning in my pajamas, with a cup of coffee and watered my flowers. It felt like a cool fall day and it was wonderful. My life is comfortable and I am content.I am blessed. That was not always the case. There were many, many times that I didn't think I could take another day. I'm glad I made it thru so that I could enjoy my framed sheet music and cleaning my grout.